COMMITTED
“Good morning.” Anni wrapped her arms around a seated Jasmin’s neck, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“Morning. I have your coffee here.” Jasmin gestured to the carafe, as well as a readied mug, before returning to her laptop.
“Mmm. Thank you.” Anni, her coffee fixed to perfection, took a blessed sip. Ahh. Now I can wake up. “Where did you go this morning? I woke up and you weren’t there.”
“Sorry, sweetie. I have to get this article done before the deadline this afternoon.”
“Always waiting ’til the last minute,” Anni teased.
“Yeah, well, someone decided they wanted to keep me occupied last night.”
“Complaining?”
Jasmin glanced over at Anni, giving her a sexy smile. “Absolutely not. Last night was amazing. We should do that more often.” She winked at Anni, blowing her a little kiss.
Anni’s dimples stood out as she grinned at her girlfriend. Oh yeah. We’ll definitely do that again. She poured herself a bowl of cereal, while surreptitiously watching Jasmin as she worked. So beautiful. Sometimes Anni couldn’t believe that Jasmin was finally with her. After so many months of painful-beyond-imagination heartache, she’s finally able to hold the woman she loves in her arms. Even in public! The musician was thankful that Jasmin had come to terms with her sexuality. Nothing feels better than to walk hand in hand with Jasmin.
“What are you thinking?” Jasmin asked, unwittingly bringing Anni out of her reverie.
“Hmm?”
“You keep watching me.”
“Well, why wouldn’t I? You’re beautiful.”
Jasmin stopped typing, and just stared at Anni. A bright smile bloomed slowly. She stood up, and slid onto Anni’s lap.
“I think you’re beautiful, baby.” Jasmin kissed Anni soundly when she made a face. “You are, so deal with it.”
“Couldn’t I just be hot?”
“Fine, you’re beautifully hot,” Jasmin chuckled. “Wanna go mess around?”
“I thought you had a deadline,” Anni murmured while giving her girlfriend wet kisses along her neck.
Jasmin sighed heavily. “I do. But if you keep doing that, we’re going to end up like we were last night. And, my legs are still sore.”
Anni snorted, then slapped Jasmin on the ass, making her yelp. “Up. Get your work done. I have to go shopping anyway.”
“Ooo, shopping. Getting anything special?” Jasmin hinted. She knew their one year anniversary was coming up, and was hoping Anni’s little shopping trip meant something special for her.
“Nope. Just some food. Maybe some guitar strings. Things like that. I shouldn’t be long.” Anni smirked behind Jasmin’s back. Of course she wasn’t going to tell Jasmin that she was going shopping for their anniversary. She may not have experience being in a relationship, especially one this long, but she’s no dummy. “Ok, baby. I’m out. I’ll see you later.” She kissed Jasmin, lingering a little longer than necessary. With a frustrated grunt, she pushed away and hurried out the door.
***
“Pia! You are not helping me!”
Pia laughed out loud at Anni’s irritation. “She would totally like this!” She held the white dress up in front of her, turning this way and that.
“You don’t think she would look good in this?”
Anni studied the dress. Jasmin would look amazing in the dress, but she also knew how it would be perceived. She just didn’t think she was ready for that kind of commitment, yet. Yes, she loved Jasmin. Of course she did. But did she really believe that Jasmin was in this for the long haul?
“She would look lovely in that, but I’m looking for something different.”
“Ok, what are you looking for?”
“I don’t know, Pia!”
“Hey! Don’t get all pissy with me just because you are stressing over an anniversary gift for Jasmin.” Pia huffed, stuffing the dress back on the rack.
“Sorry, ok? I just want this to be special.”
“So, write her a song or something,” Pia said absently, flipping through clothes.
“Been there, done that,” Anni muttered. But the idea struck something inside her. She had written ‘Far Away’ when she thought she had no chance with Jasmin. Maybe now, the musician could write something less heart wrenching. “Ugh! Enough of this. I have two weeks to think of the perfect gift. Thanks anyway, Pia, for coming out shopping with me.”
“Sure. And, hey, don’t worry so much about it. It’ll come to you.”
***
“I don’t think she remembers, Tuner.” Jasmin started on a cappuccino for ‘outside, table one’ of Vereinsheim. As much as she loved Dominik and Tuner, Jasmin couldn’t wait to be able to make a living off of her articles for Metropolitan Trends. At least that dream seems to be a little more obtainable now that Katrin wasn’t in charge anymore.
“Why? Because she didn’t tell you she was shopping for you? Did you expect her to?” Tuner watched, amused as the beautiful brunette glared at him.
“Don’t be all practical when I’m trying to be dramatic,” Jasmin whined teasingly. “Fine,” she sighed. “Maybe she didn’t forget. I just wish she was more excited about our first anniversary.”
“Careful. I may get practical again and ask why you think she’s not excited about it,” Tuner returned with a sly smile.
“Pssh. Whatever. I have to take these drinks out.” Jasmin sent Tuner a grin over her shoulder before heading out. As she reached for the door, it opened and Anni walked in, almost running into the tray Jasmin was carrying.
“Oops! Sorry, baby.” Anni moved to the side, sweeping her arm in a bow, ushering Jasmin out. She received a winning smile for her efforts which made her feel an intense happiness inside. She shook her head at her silliness, and made her way to the bar. “Hey! Could I get a coffee, Tuner?”
“Sure. How’d the shopping go?”
Anni frowned. “Um. Okay?” How did Tuner know she went shopping? And, why did it matter to him? Unless . . . Jasmin must have said something. Was Jasmin trying to get information from their friends? Good luck, baby. Only one who knows what I’m up to is Pia. And, she swore she wouldn’t say a word. A quick kiss on the cheek made her snap out of her trance with a smile.
“Did you get everything you needed?” Jasmin asked innocently, walking behind the bar.
“Mmmhmm. Did you finish your article?”
“Mmmhmm.” Jasmin studied Anni for a minute, not able to hold back her smile. She never imagined she’d be in love with a woman, but she had to admit, she couldn’t have made a better choice than Anni. There was just something about her that touched Jasmin deep down in her heart. It was more than her looks, though Anni was totally hot. More than her talent, which was immense. And, even though Anni had her moments of being extremely blunt, it was that honesty that had drawn Jasmin to Anni in the beginning. She just felt Anni in her heart. It was different than anything else she had ever felt before.
“What?” If it had been anyone else besides Jasmin looking at her that intensely, Anni would’ve been uncomfortable. But she found herself elated at the blatant inspection.
“Nothing,” Jasmin smiled sweetly. “What would you like to do . . . “
Anni frowned at the look on Jasmin’s face. Within seconds she went from happy to . . . stunned? She turned to see what had caught Jasmin’s attention, and Anni’s face fell. There stood Jasmin’s ex-husband, Kurt, smiling as though he had just won the lottery.
“Baby! I’m back!” he shouted, his eyes trained on Jasmin.
“Shit.”
The whispered expletive had Anni turning back to Jasmin. To say that Anni was scared out of her mind was an understatement. She didn’t think she’d be able to survive losing Jasmin now. Yes, she tried to prepare herself for the day Jasmin decided she was no longer into women. But that doesn’t mean it worked.
Jasmin saw the look on Anni’s face, and it broke her heart. She thinks I’ll go back to him. She reached out and took Anni’s hand in hers, squeezing it lightly.
“Well? Are you going to give me a proper welcome?” Kurt smirked, holding his arms out.
“What are you doing here?” Jasmin asked, not bothering to come out from behind the bar.
Kurt lowered his arms, looking a bit bemused at Jasmin’s lack of interest. “I came back for you, Jasmin. I forgive you.”
“You forgive me?” She squeezed Anni’s hand harder. Whether it was for strength or to keep from throwing Anni’s cup of coffee at Kurt, she didn’t know. “Kurt, we’re divorced. I couldn’t give a shit whether you forgive me or not.”
“Come on, baby . . . “
“Don’t call me baby. I’m not your baby.”
“Look, Jasmin, I just needed some time. You gave me that. I got over it. Now I’m ready to be with you again.”
Anni stiffened, trying to remove her hand from Jasmin’s, but the grip only tightened more.
“I don’t want to be with you, Kurt. I’m happy now.”
“Ba . . . Jasmin, you were happy with me. I’m here to give that back to you.”
“Go to hell, Kurt. If you want to know the truth, I don’t know what or who I was when I was with you. You left me when I was at my lowest.
Why in the hell would I ever want to be with you again? Besides, I’m in love with someone now.” Her eyes flickered towards Anni.
“In love? You were in love with me,” Kurt retorted.
“No. Maybe I loved you. I’m sure I cared for you. But it was nothing like this,” Jasmin confessed.
Anni couldn’t help but smile. She was still nervous about Kurt being here, but hearing these words from Jasmin helped ease that fear some. What if Jasmin was just saying these things because Anni was here? Would she feel the same way if she and Kurt were alone?
Kurt frowned at Jasmin, looking at her hand that was still clasped in Anni’s. “What is this?” he asked, gesturing towards the interlaced hands.
“I’m sure you remember Anni,” Jasmin said, sweetly.
“Of course. What? Did she finally get in your pants? She always wanted to when we were married.”
Jasmin smiled brightly even as Anni blushed. “Yes, she did. And, let me tell you, it’s galactic!”
“Galactic? Come on! It can’t be what it was like with us,” Kurt sneered, sending Anni a contemptuous glare.
“You’re right, it can’t. It’s much better.” Jasmin glanced at Anni, worried that she had yet to say anything. The usually outspoken woman now sat quietly, shoulders hunched, not even bothering to turn around to look at Kurt. Jasmin leaned close, looking Anni in the eye. “Hey. Are you okay?” she asked softly.
“Yeah. I just have to get to Mauerwerk to work the sound board,” Anni answered without emotion.
“Oh. Sure. Can you wait for five minutes when my shift is over? Then I can go over with you.”
“Nah. I have to get going now. Besides, you and Kurt should talk.” Anni didn’t know why the words came out of her mouth, and regretted them instantly, but she couldn’t take them back now.
“Kurt and I have nothing to talk about, Anni.”
“Yeah, we do,” Kurt spouted.
“Wait for me,” Jasmin pleaded, ignoring Kurt altogether. “I want to go with you.”
“Jasmin, just work out whatever this is with Kurt. You can come by later,” Anni insisted, surprising herself and Jasmin.
“Anni, it’s over with Kurt. It has been for a long time. We don’t have anything to say to each other.”
“We have plenty to say, Jasmin. You’re not a dyke! I understand that you want to experiment. You’re young, that’s normal. And, hey, if you want to invite Anni to be with us, I’m down for that . . . “
“Kurt! Will you shut up, please? You’re disgusting! I would never share Anni with you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m trying to talk to my girlfriend.” Jasmin leaned closer, dropping her voice even more. She didn’t want Kurt, or anyone else, to hear her next words. “You still don’t believe in my love for you, do you?”
“Man, Jasmin. That’s not it. I just think you should talk it out with him.”
“Why, Anni? Do you think my words will change if you’re not here?”
Anni shrugged a little, not able to deny that she had actually thought that exact thing. The hurt in Jasmin’s eyes cut Anni to the core.
“Well, they won’t.”
“Fine. But I have to go. I’ll see you later, ok?”
“Anni!” Jasmin watched with tears filling her eyes as Anni hurried to the door.
“You know she’s not a dyke, Anni. It’s better for you to get out of this now before it gets too serious for you. She’ll never be able to love you like you want.”
Anni shot him a death stare before storming out. Once the fresh air hit her, she stopped abruptly, and drew in a deep breath.
“Shit! Son of a bitch!” She wanted to hit something, namely Kurt. Then she thought of the hurt look on Jasmin’s face. “Fuck!” Anni realized then that she had just walked out on the woman she loved because of her own insecurities. Everything that Jasmin said came flooding back to her. The love she heard in Jasmin’s voice filled her with a warmth that chased away the chill of the November air. Anni straightened her back, held her head high and pushed her way back into the café.
Jasmin wasn’t listening to a word Kurt was saying. All she could think about was how Anni had just walked out. How could she doubt my love after all this time? Does she really think I’m just going to stop loving her and go back to men? The sound of the bell above the door caught her attention and Jasmin looked up. Her smile was instantaneous when she saw Anni walking towards her. Jasmin practically ran around the bar, and flew into Anni’s arms.
“Thank you! Thank you for coming back.”
“Nowhere I’d rather be, doll.” Anni glanced over to Kurt, who looked furious. “Your shift over now?” she asked Jasmin.
“Yep!”
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Gladly!”
***
“Hey!” Anni yelled over the loud music, tugging on Jasmin’s hand to pull her close. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“I had no idea he’d be there, sweetie, but I want nothing to do with him.”
“Because you’re mad he left you?”
Jasmin stared at Anni for a minute, noticing the fear still lingering in her eyes.
“No. Because I love you, Anni!”
Anni searched Jasmin’s face and saw nothing but sincerity shining back at her. She wished so much that she could make this insecurity disappear.
“I’m working on it, Jasmin.” She said, wrapping Jasmin in a tight embrace. “I’m working on it.”
“I know, baby. And, as much as it hurts, I understand. Okay? I know I hurt you before.” Jasmin pulled back slightly, taking Anni’s face in her hands. “I won’t do it again, Anni.” She lowered her lips to Anni’s, kissing her gently. Just that simple kiss made her want more. “How long will you be tonight?”
Anni smirked knowingly. “Not long. The band has one set, with four songs. Hour? Hour and a half?”
Jasmin nodded. “I’ll bring you something to drink. Then, when we get home . . . “
“You’ll give me something else to drink?” Anni finished with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Jasmin laughed, slapping Anni playfully on the arm. “Exactly. Deviant.”
“You know you love it.”
Jasmin’s brow lifted, and she gave Anni that sexy smile that showed her dimple. “Yes, I do. Very much.”
***
“God, I hope no one is home,” Anni murmured against Jasmin’s lips. She was feverishly trying to unlock the door, kiss Jasmin, and trying to stay on her wobbly legs as Jasmin’s hands roamed her body all at the same time. She was definitely multi-tasking.
“Or asleep,” Jasmin giggled. “Hurry!”
“I’m trying, God! How do you expect me to hurry when you do that!”
Jasmin’s hand had found its way down Anni’s pants, which had mysteriously become undone. “Well, if you hurry, these can come off and I’ll have a better angle.”
“Jasmin! You’re killing me!”
“But what a beautiful death it will be,” Jasmin breathed into Anni’s ear, making her tremble.
Anni, frustrated with the lock on the damn door, switched their positions. She sacrificed a moment of having her lips on Jasmin’s in order to get to their destination quicker. Her knees almost gave out on her when Jasmin’s free arm circled around her waist, making its way up to her breast. Close to kicking the door in, she finally got the key in the lock, and hurriedly pushed open the door.
They came to an abrupt stop when they saw Nele and Ayla staring back at them from the couch. From what Jasmin could hear, they had been watching another episode of Lovers & Lies. Not even remotely interested in the TV or her roommates, Jasmin tried guiding Anni towards the bedroom, while being as inconspicuous as she could with her hand still down Anni’s pants.
“Hey,” Nele snickered.
Anni gave a mock salute, then ran into the room, dragging a stuck Jasmin with her. Once the door was closed, they both burst out laughing.
“Um. That was . . . “
“Embarrassing?” Jasmin offered.
“For them, maybe.”
“Oh? Not for you with my hand down your pants?”
“Nope. Was it for you?”
Jasmin smiled, then brought her fingers up to her mouth and licked them clean as Anni’s eyes widened with shock and desire.
“Nope,” Jasmin answered, sucking her finger one last time, before removing it with a pop.
Anni moaned, grabbing Jasmin’s shirt and whipping it off. “You’re bad,” she said huskily.
“That’s good,” Jasmin returned. Her breath caught as Anni expertly discarded her bra, replacing the silky material with her mouth. “That’s really good,” she sighed when Anni ran her teeth lightly over her nipple.
Anni feathered her fingers down Jasmin’s toned stomach, hooking them into the waistband of her pants. She tugged lightly, getting Jasmin to follow her to the bed. Once there, she kneeled and unbuttoned Jasmin’s pants, sliding them, along with her panties down magnificent, tanned legs. “So beautiful,” she whispered, nuzzling the hot wetness of Jasmin’s sex.
“Anni, please,” Jasmin begged, threading her fingers into Anni’s hair, gently guiding her closer to her.
Anni groaned, wanting nothing more than to taste that uniquely wonderful essence that is Jasmin. But she also knew that Jasmin wouldn’t be able to keep standing for long. “Lay down, baby,” she whispered, staying on her knees.
Jasmin immediately complied, laying back on the bed, resting on her elbows, with her feet still touching the floor. She watched as Anni crawled on her knees until she was between Jasmin’s legs.
Anni ran her fingers gently up Jasmin’s legs. Starting at her ankles, she barely touched the skin as she roamed over Jasmin’s calves, and inside her knees, leaving goosebumps as she went. As she neared Jasmin’s thighs, she flattened her hands over the skin, smoothing her way up until she reached Jasmin’s glistening sex. Mouth watering, she lowered herself until her tongue reached the copious wetness.
“God!” Jasmin gasped, hands once again burying themselves into Anni’s hair, silently begging for more.
Anni wrapped her arms around Jasmin’s thighs, pulling her even closer, not able to get enough of the sweet nectar that was pure Jasmin. She groaned when she felt Jasmin begin to move her hips, keeping rhythm with Anni’s explorative tongue. Never had it been this way for Anni. She was in complete awe of Jasmin. In complete love. And, it made every taste, every touch, everything that much better when she was with Jasmin.
“Anni!”
The musician felt the beginnings of Jasmin’s orgasm, and increased her effort, slipping two fingers inside to make the orgasm even stronger.
Jasmin felt Anni inside her, felt her tongue batting her engorged bundle of nerves and grabbed a pillow at the last second to muffle her screams. Anni was relentless as she milked every last drop out of Jasmin, not stopping until Jasmin finally had to beg her for mercy.
Anni kissed her way up Jasmin’s soft body, removing the pillow from the panting Jasmin, and kissing her deeply.
“Wow,” Jasmin breathed, reveling in the taste of herself on Anni’s tongue. “You are really good at that.”
“I aim to please,” Anni grinned.
“You have great aim, baby.” Jasmin chuckled. “But I have one complaint.”
The smile dropped from Anni’s face. Complaint? She’s never had complaints before, and she was way more thorough with Jasmin than she ever was with anyone else.
Jasmin laughed softly. “Not about your skills, sweetie. My complaint is you are entirely overdressed.”
“Ah, well.” Anni breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s easily fixed.” She immediately shed herself of her clothes, and they both climbed into bed under the sheets.
“Mmm. I love the way your body feels on mine,” Jasmin whispered.
“So do I.” Anni situated herself between Jasmin’s legs, their sex resting on each other. “God, so do I.” Anni began moving her hips against Jasmin’s in a circular motion, needing a release of her own. Tasting Jasmin always made her hot and ready, and this was no exception.
Jasmin knew instinctively what Anni needed, and wiggled her hand between them, opening Anni up to her before opening herself. She felt Anni’s body jerk when their clits came into contact with each other, and Anni began to pump faster.
“Oh, Jasmin,” she panted, rotating her hips.
Jasmin spread her legs further apart, giving Anni more access to the most intimate part of her. “Yes, baby!” She could feel the heat begin to build inside her again, and she knew it wouldn’t be long before her second orgasm came crashing down on her. But she willed her body to wait until she knew Anni was ready.
It didn’t take long. Anni propped herself up on her forearms, leaning down to kiss Jasmin as her thrusts became stronger, more urgent. “Fuck! Jasmin!”
“Come, baby. With me.”
The quiet words were Anni’s undoing, and she crushed her mouth to Jasmin’s in hopes that her screams would be muted even a little bit.
Unable to help herself, she collapsed onto Jasmin with a heavy sigh.
“My God, woman! You’re incredible!” she managed to get out, even though her face was buried between Jasmin’s neck and the pillow.
“Right back at ya.” Jasmin held Anni tight, arms and legs wrapped around her.
After taking a moment to catch her breath, Anni finally slid off Jasmin, not wanting to suffocate her.
“I love you,” she whispered, as she burrowed close to Jasmin, wrapping her arm around her lovingly.
“I love you, too, Anni.” With a happy smile, content sigh and a small kiss to the top of Anni’s head, Jasmin drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
Anni watched Jasmin sleep, hoping that whatever Kurt was up to, he wouldn’t be able to take this from her. She kissed Jasmin’s shoulder, then followed her into a deep sleep.
***
“Hey, Anni.”
Anni squinted through the sunlight that was filtering in the window as she headed to the coffeepot. Apparently Nele has forgotten the rule not to speak to her before her coffee.
“Hey.”
“Is Jasmin up?”
“Do you see her?”
Anni could feel Nele studying her as she grabbed a cup from the cabinet. She was beginning to feel annoyed at the scrutiny, hoping that Nele wasn’t imagining what she had caught a glimpse of last night.
“Are you okay?”
She scowled at Nele. Why the hell wouldn’t she be okay? All she needed was a damned cup of coffee. “Mmmhmm.”
“Are you sure?”
“Nele, please. Whatever you think is wrong, just tell me. Don’t play twenty of the same question with me before I’ve had my caffeine.”
“Kurt showed up yesterday,” Nele said carefully, as though waiting for Anni to blow up or fall apart.
Anni sighed. “Yeah. I know.”
“What does Jasmin think?”
“Man, Nele! I can’t talk about this before coffee! I don’t want to talk about it at all.”
“Talk about what?” Jasmin’s sleepy voice penetrated the tension filled air in the room.
“Nothing,” Anni muttered, finally taking a sip of her much needed coffee.
“Kurt,” Nele answered, receiving a glare from Anni.
“Oh. There’s nothing to talk about,” Jasmin shrugged. “Morning, baby.” She kissed Anni sweetly on the lips before going for a mug of her own.
“Morning. Sleep well?”
“Mmm, like a rock.” She sent Anni a saucy wink.
Both of them knew Nele was watching them with barely contained questions, but they refused to acknowledge her. Anni just wanted to forget Kurt even existed. Jasmin didn’t want Anni to feel uncomfortable, so she stayed quiet. There was nothing to say anyway. Kurt was a part of her past. Anni is her present. And, hopefully, her future.
“You guys are seriously just going to ignore the fact that Jasmin’s ex-husband is in town?!”
“Nele!” Jasmin delivered Nele an angry stare.
“What?”
“I already said there’s nothing to talk about. Kurt showed up at Vereinsheim, spouted nonsense, then Anni and I left. That’s it.” Jasmin brushed her hands together as though she were dusting them off. “Done.”
“So you’re not going back to him?”
The sip of coffee that Anni just took instantly came back up as she began to choke. Jasmin was instantly at her side, gently tapping her back.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Just went down the wrong pipe.” Anni tried to hide her embarrassment – and fear – behind her flippant remark, but Jasmin didn’t buy it.
“Nele, why would you ask me that,” she asked angrily. “I’m with Anni. Of course I’m not going back to Kurt.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s not like you’ve been a lesbian for long, I just thought . . . “
“Maybe you should stop thinking, Nele,” Anni retorted. “How do you think it makes me feel when you are basically asking Jasmin if she’s just going to toss me to the side to go back to her ex?”
Jasmin’s eyebrow rose as she gave Anni a look. Anni tsked, waving away Jasmin’s questioning look with impatience. Yes, she had the same thoughts, but that’s not what they’re discussing here.
“I’m sorry, Anni.” Nele at least had the good grace to look genuinely contrite.
“Whatever. Can we stop talking about this now?”
“Yes, baby, we can. Right, Nele?” Jasmin looked pointedly at Nele, daring her to say more.
“Right. Um, I’m just going to go upstairs. Mesut . . . ” she trailed off as no one was listening to her anyway.
Jasmin opened her mouth to ask Anni if she was okay again, but thought better of it. Anni’s emotions are probably in turmoil right now, and the last thing Jasmin wanted was to argue. Especially this close to their anniversary. Damn Kurt! He just had to choose now!? I refuse to let him ruin Anni’s and my special time. She didn’t care if Kurt fell to his knees begging for her forgiveness, she was over him. Completely.
“What time do you have to work today?” Jasmin asked, hoping it was a safe topic.
“I have to leave here in about an hour,” Anni answered flatly.
“Come on, sweetie, don’t let Nele bother you.”
“It’s not Nele.”
“Well, then, don’t let Kurt bother you.”
“Jasmin, I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if someone like Lucia came here with the intention of getting me back.”
Jasmin’s nostrils flared with jealousy. “No, I wouldn’t. I know this is hard, sweetie. What would you like me to do? I’ve already told him I’m not interested. I’ve already told him I’m with you . . . “
“Which apparently no one believes is real,” Anni snapped.
Including you, Jasmin thought silently. She was determined to show Anni that she is exactly where she wants to be.
“I do,” Jasmin said softly.
Anni looked up at Jasmin, seeing the love reflected back at her. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she reached up and caressed Jasmin’s cheek lovingly.
“Thank you.”
Jasmin smiled with a small shrug.
Anni cleared her throat, pushing herself back from the table. “I need to take a shower and get ready for work.”
“Can I watch?” Jasmin grinned, welcoming the change of topic.
“You can wash my back.”
“Mmm, even better.” Jasmin popped up, placing her hands on Anni’s hips as she followed her to the bathroom. “As long as you wash mine.”
***
“Sophie?” Jasmin held up a vest in front of her. “Do you think Anni would like this?”
Sophie studied the garment thoughtfully. “Yeah. I think she’d look good in that.”
“Mmm, me too,” Jasmin agreed readily, folding the vest over her forearm. She was grateful that Sophie agreed to go shopping with her during their lunch break. She could use all the help she can get finding the right gift for Anni. The vest is a nice beginning, but certainly not that special something she’s looking for.
“So, what’s going on with Kurt?” Sophie asked nonchalantly.
“Oh for chrissake! Does everyone know Kurt is back and being a complete ass?”
Sophie shrugged. “Seems he’s been talking to all of your friends, asking about your relationship with Anni.”
Jasmin groaned disgustedly. “Has he spoken to you?”
“No. I don’t think he knows we’re friends. Yay me.”
Jasmin joined Sophie’s amused chuckle. “Well, good. At least he’ll leave one of my friends alone. Ugh, he is so aggravating, Sophie! You should have heard the way he was talking to Anni. I could have punched him, I was so mad.”
“At least Anni knows where your loyalties lay. Right?” Sophie looked up at Jasmin when she didn’t answer. “Jasmin?”
“She’s scared, Sophie,” Jasmin confessed.
“Does she have reason to be?”
“No! Absolutely not. But you’re the first person who didn’t question my intentions. You automatically assumed that my choice is Anni. And you’re right.”
“Others think you’ll choose that ass?”
“Yeah, I guess. And the worst part is, they doubted me in front of Anni.”
“Wow. Way to make her feel more confident.”
“Exactly!” Jasmin exclaimed with frustration. “She already feels insecure, and they’re certainly not helping matters!” She plopped down on a bench in front of the dressing rooms. “What am I going to do, Sophie?”
“About?”
“Anni! What can I do to make her see that being with her is what I really want?”
Sophie sat next to Jasmin and patted her on the knee. “I think you keep doing what you’re doing. You keep rejecting Kurt, and once he gives up, she’ll see.”
“Until the next time? Sometimes I wonder if she’ll ever truly believe in my feelings for her.”
“She will, Jasmin. Just give her some time.”
“It’s been almost a year, Sophie!” Jasmin sighed. She knew she was being impatient. She needed to remind herself of what Anni went through before they got together. How hard it must have been for Anni to see her with Kurt. “It doesn’t matter. I will keep reminding her until she gets it. I’m not going anywhere.”
***
Jasmin let herself in the apartment, arms filled with shopping bags, yet none of them held that one special gift. She kicked the door shut behind her, not noticing when it was stopped by a hand.
“Whew! I should have asked Sophie to help me bring these things up,” she muttered to herself.
“I could have helped you.”
Jasmin gasped, dropping the bags at her feet and spinning around at Kurt’s voice.
“You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you. Without an audience this time. Now you can be honest.” Kurt stepped closer, making Jasmin step back.
“I was being honest. I’m not interested, Kurt.” She walked towards the kitchen, putting more distance between them. Being here alone with Kurt made her feel uncomfortable.
“That’s ridiculous, Jasmin. You’re not . . . “
“If you say the word dyke one more time, I’m going to scream.”
“I always liked it when you screamed,” he said, leering at her.
“You were never that good, Kurt. Don’t kid yourself,” she retorted, hating the way he looked at her. Odd. She was once married to this man, thought she loved him, and now he just makes her feel dirty and awkward.
“Seems to me you need to be reminded about how it was between us.”
Jasmin shivered at the words. Was she really scared of Kurt? Did she believe he would do something that would hurt her? She didn’t think he would. Then again, she didn’t think he would come back for her.
“Kurt, you need to leave. Now.”
“Scared, Jasmin? Afraid that if I kiss you, you’ll see that whatever you have with Anni is a lie?”
Jasmin slammed her hands down on the counter. “What I have with Anni is real, damn it!”
“Prove it.”
“I don’t have to prove anything to you, Kurt. The only one I care about is Anni.”
Kurt laughed ruthlessly. “Of course.”
Jasmin walked around the counter, towards the door with the intention of pushing Kurt out the door if she had to. Unfortunately, Kurt grabbed her arm as she tried to pass by him, and pulled her close. She pushed against his chest, trying to turn her head when he closed the distance between them.
“Hey, Jasmin, you left the door . . . ” The words died on Anni’s lips as she took in the sight before her. “Unbelievable!”
“Anni!” Jasmin pushed away from Kurt, only to have him tighten his grip on her arm. “Let me go, damn it! Anni, wait!”
With a furious shove, she dislodged herself from Kurt’s grasp, and grabbed Anni before she could leave.
“Let go, Jasmin. Go back to Kurt.”
“Anni, please! It wasn’t what it looked like!”
“Oh? You weren’t kissing your ex-husband?” Anni asked, her voice eerily calm considering the torment she felt inside.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“I saw you, Jasmin!”
Jasmin stepped into Anni’s personal space, not giving her a chance to leave. “What did you really see, Anni? Think about it. What did you see? Not your insecurity.”
“I saw you kissing him.” Even as Anni said the words, she felt they were a lie. She closed her eyes, thinking about what she saw when she walked in. It hurt like hell, but she made herself see the reality. “I saw . . . Kurt kissing you.”
“Exactly. I was pushing him away, Anni.”
“You know she’s lying, don’t you, Anni? She wanted it as much as I did.” Kurt’s eyes were crinkled, as though he were laughing at the situation. As if the turmoil between Jasmin and Anni was entertaining him.
“Why the hell won’t you just leave us alone, Kurt? Go back to America where you belong.” Jasmin took Anni’s face in her hands. “That wasn’t a kiss, baby. This is a kiss.” She lowered her head and took Anni’s lips in a sensuous kiss, not giving a damn that Kurt was there watching.
“Jasmin . . . “
Kurt’s voice invaded the nice moment she was having with Jasmin, and Anni reluctantly tore her lips from Jasmin’s, whirling around to confront him. “Get the hell out of here before I throw your ass out!” She took a step closer to him, adrenaline giving her a boost of courage. “If you ever come near Jasmin again, I’ll kick your ass. She doesn’t want you! Get over it!”
“You’re going to get hurt, Anni.” Kurt brushed by her, stopping in front of Jasmin. “This isn’t over,” he said before walking out the door.
“It is over! Don’t ever come back here!” Jasmin yelled after him before slamming the door, opening it back up and slamming it again for good measure. “Ugh! He makes me so mad!” She paced the floor, kicking shopping bags in her wake.
“Why was he here, Jasmin?”
The pacing stopped abruptly, and Jasmin took a deep breath to rein in her temper. “He came out of nowhere when I opened the door. Like he was lurking in the hallway or something.”
Anni studied her for a moment before nodding. “If he comes around anymore, I’m calling the cops. What he’s doing is just creepy, and I don’t like him being around you.”
“I am trying so hard, Anni,” Jasmin sighed. “So hard to be patient. To be understanding.” She raised her hand, gesturing for Anni to wait when she began to speak. “I’ve done everything I can think of to let you know how much I love you. I’ve defended you. I’ve defended our love. I’ve come out over a loudspeaker, joined a protest, assaulted an officer, risked thousands of dollars by coming out to the press. I tell you I love you every day. I show you I love you every day. What more can I do? Tell me, please. My actions and words aren’t enough, so please, tell me what to do. I will do anything, just tell me, Anni. What will it take for you to trust my love for you?”
A single tear trickled down Anni’s cheek, matching the ones flowing freely from Jasmin. She closed the distance between them in two strides, taking Jasmin in a crushing embrace.
“You just did it,” she whispered in Jasmin’s ear. “No. You’ve been doing it all along. I’m just an idiot.” Anni kissed Jasmin’s cheek, tasting the saltiness of her tears. She then kissed both of those tear filled eyes gently, before placing a small kiss on the tip of her nose. “I’m not going to be an idiot anymore.” She kissed Jasmin deeply, pouring all of her emotion into the kiss as her tongue caressed Jasmin’s bottom lip, asking for entrance.
Jasmin immediately granted permission, gently sucking Anni’s tongue into her mouth. As passionate as their kisses and lovemaking has been, she felt a definite shift in what they were doing now. It was as though there were no longer any barriers between them at all. This is what Jasmin wanted. What she needed. And, Anni was granting her access to it all.
“You’re in my heart, Anni,” she whispered against Anni’s lips.
“And, you are my heart, Jasmin.” Anni slipped her fingers into Jasmin’s silky hair, bringing her back for another heated kiss. She felt more than heard Jasmin’s moan as she let her hands roam over the incredibly beautiful body that was pressed against her.
“Bedroom.” Jasmin was loathe to break their connection, so she stayed plastered to Anni as they stumbled towards the bedroom. If she didn’t think someone would come home and interrupt them, she would have been happy to consummate this turn in their relationship right there on the table. She didn’t care where they were, as long as she was with Anni.
They slowly undressed each other, taking time to explore each new expanse of skin that was exposed with tongues, lips, and hands. Neither of them were in a hurry, wanting to prolong this exquisitely more intense connection they each felt deep down.
Anni nudged Jasmin down on the bed, taking a moment to take in the vision that never ceased to amaze and arouse her. She placed a knee on the bed before lowering herself, using her erect nipples and breasts to stimulate Jasmin’s smooth skin beneath her. She teasingly grazed over Jasmin’s sex, feeling how hot and ready she was, smelling that wondrous aroma that was Jasmin’s arousal. It was almost enough to make her abandon her slow seduction. Almost.
Jasmin’s hips bucked at the light touch, and she whimpered in protest when Anni moved further up her body. “Anni.”
“Patience, baby.”
“I think I’ve already proven I have patience, sweetie.”
Anni chuckled. “Yes, you have. Just a little more, okay? I promise, it’ll be worth it.”
“I have faith in you.” Jasmin smiled brightly, then gasped at the feeling of Anni’s nipples scraping against her own painfully hardened peaks.
“Good to know,” Anni murmured before taking Jasmin’s mouth in a sensual, wet kiss. She moved until she was straddling Jasmin’s thigh, her own arousal slick against the silkiness of Jasmin’s skin, causing both women to moan at the contact.
Jasmin lifted her knee slightly, putting more pressure on the spot Anni needed it most. She matched each move Anni was making, adding pressure before taking it away for a moment, driving Anni crazy with need. Jasmin forgot all about teasing Anni when she felt curious fingers sliding through her oh-so-ready wetness. Anni hovered over Jasmin’s sensitive and swollen clit.
“Please. I need you inside me, Anni.”
An almost animalistic growl came from Anni before she slipped two fingers inside Jasmin’s heat. She immediately felt the muscles contract around her, drawing her deeper.
“You feel so good wrapped around me, Jasmin.” The musician kept her rhythm steady, playing Jasmin as expertly as she played her guitar. Strumming each moan, each whimper, out of Jasmin like a master.
Jasmin’s fingernails dug into Anni’s back as she felt the beginnings of what she knew would be an intense orgasm. “More.”
At Jasmin’s urgent request, Anni inserted a third finger, increasing the speed of her thrusts a bit as she began to move her own body over
Jasmin’s thigh once again. “Oh, yes! Jasmin!”
“Anni! Oh God!” Jasmin knotted her hands into Anni’s hair, crushing their mouths together in a desperate kiss. She didn’t even attempt to quiet her moans, it was impossible.
Anni ignored the nearly painful hold Jasmin had on her, the intensity only adding to her pleasure. “So close, baby.”
“Mmm, yes, Anni. I want you to come with me.”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Jasmin?”
Nele’s voice coming through the door startled the lovemaking couple so much they almost fell off the bed.
“Don’t stop!” Jasmin pleaded. “Anni, baby, I’m so close, please don’t stop!”
Anni wouldn’t be able to stop even if she wanted to. She thrust harder, both inside Jasmin and against her completely drenched thigh.
“Yes!” Jasmin held on tight as her body began to convulse. “Oh! Anni!” She cried out as she exploded around Anni’s fingers.
“Shit! Jasmin!” Anni couldn’t hold back her own shout as she came hard on Jasmin.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Jasmin! Come out here, please!”
Jasmin sucked in much needed air, then choked on it when she heard Katrin’s voice yelling at her from the other side of the door.
“Please tell me that’s not your mother,” Anni begged.
“I could. But I won’t lie to you,” Jasmin answered, still out of breath from their lovemaking as well as her impromptu choking session.
“What the hell is she doing here?”
Jasmin chuckled. “Well, I don’t know, sweetie. I’ve been kind of busy in here with you.”
Anni grinned, nipping the tip of Jasmin’s nose playfully. “True.” She gently pulled out of Jasmin, bringing her coated fingers up to paint Jasmin’s still erect nipple. She forgot all about Jasmin’s mother as she dipped her head to taste her masterpiece.
Jasmin arched her back, offering more to Anni. Somewhere in her consciousness she knew she should be getting up to greet her guest. She just couldn’t find the motivation to do anything but stay in bed forever with Anni.
“Jasmin!”
Anni scrambled to cover both her and Jasmin when she realized Katrin had barged into their room.
“Are you crazy!?” Jasmin clutched the covers to her breast, glancing over her shoulder to see Anni duck her head under the comforter, trying to disappear. Jasmin wished she could disappear right along with her. “This isn’t a good time, Katrin.”
“If you had been more considerate, I wouldn’t have had to come in here,” Katrin complained.
“Considerate? This is my home. My bedroom. And, I’m sharing an intimate moment with my girlfriend. Perhaps you should learn about this consideration concept.”
“Your attitude is unbecoming.”
Jasmin barely managed to keep herself from yelping when she felt a pinch on her ass. She was so going to get Anni for that.
“Did you come in here to belittle me, Katrin? If so, I have much better things to do.”
“I came to talk to you about your future, Jasmin.”
Jasmin sighed heavily. “And, this couldn’t wait for a more convenient future time?”
“Kurt came to see me . . . “
“Oh no! No, no, no, no, no. I am not talking to you about Kurt. I’m not talking about him at all.”
“Jasmin, he can offer you so much more.”
“Enough! I don’t know what he’s offering you, but you can forget it! I’ve made my choice. I choose Anni. I will always choose Anni. Now and forever. So, if that’s all you came over here to interrupt me for, you can leave.”
“We’ll talk when you’re . . . “
“What? Alone? More compliant? Dressed? No matter when you talk to me, my answer will always be the same.”
Katrin shook her head before turning to leave.
“Tell me something, Katrin,” Jasmin called before Katrin closed the door. “What did Kurt offer you to do this?”
“Jasmin, I just want what’s best for you.”
“If that were true, you would be jumping for joy that I’ve found what’s best for me in Anni. You never do anything unless it serves you. So, what did he offer you? You know what,” she continued when Katrin said nothing. “It doesn’t matter. Tell Kurt to go to hell. And if you’ve decided not to support my relationship with Anni, you can go there with him.”
When Katrin closed the door behind her with a distinct snap, Jasmin fell back onto the bed with a frustrated growl. Before she could stop herself, she started kicking her feet, and punching the bed, in an epic temper tantrum, while letting out all of her resentment in throaty yell.
“Woah! Hey.” Anni tentatively reached out, placing a calming hand on Jasmin’s arm. “It’s okay, baby.”
“It’s not okay! Who do these people think they are?! Why can’t they just leave us alone?”
“Maybe they will now.” Even saying it, Anni knew Kurt wasn’t finished trying to persuade his ex-wife to take him back.
Jasmin blew out a breath, panting a little from her . . . oh, God, she just had a tantrum in front of Anni. Great. That’s all she needed, was for Anni to think she was being childish. She groaned, slapping her hands over her face, hoping to hide the blush she could feel creeping up.
“It was cute,” Anni laughed.
Jasmin peeked through her fingers at her girlfriend. Can she really tell what I’m thinking? “What was cute?”
“Your little conniption. I thought it was cute.”
“Shut up. I did not have a conniption!”
“Oh, it was a conniption alright. Worthy of a true drama queen.” She smiled at Jasmin, making sure she knew she was just teasing her.
“Whatever. Lesbian.”
“It’s true. Bimbo.” Anni winked. “This lesbian is hungry.”
“Well, I suppose this lesbian should feed you then.”
Anni threw her head back and laughed enthusiastically. “God, I love you!”
Jasmin smiled. “I love you, too.”
***
“Whatcha cooking?” Anni slipped her arms around Jasmin’s waist, peering over her shoulder.
“Pasta.”
“So, your signature dish?” Anni teased.
“Hey!” Jasmin pushed her bum back, nudging into Anni. “Be happy I’m cooking for you.”
“I am, baby, thank you.”
Anni hopped up onto the counter, swinging her legs back and forth, watching Jasmin hum while she cooked. It felt nice spending quiet time, just the two of them. As much as she liked her roommates, Anni would like these moments a little more often.
Jasmin glanced over at Anni. “What?”
“Nothing,” Anni smiled. “Do you want to talk about Kurt?”
“No.”
“Okay.” If she were honest with herself, Anni would admit that she didn’t want to talk about Kurt either. But with Katrin being involved, she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. Why would Kurt come back after so long? He and Jasmin have been divorced for over a year now.
“Jasmin?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you not the least bit curious about all of this?”
“Should I be?”
Anni wasn’t sure how to take Jasmin’s nonchalant attitude. Her ex-husband was back in town, doing everything he can to get her back. Why wasn’t she more concerned about it?
Jasmin placed the spoon she was using to stir the sauce to the side, and stepped between Anni’s legs. Even though they had turned a corner in their relationship, and she had a feeling Anni was more secure, she knew there was still some trepidation.
“It doesn’t matter why he’s back or what Katrin has to do with it, sweetie. I’m with you. Nothing is going to change that.”
“I believe you, Jasmin. This whole thing just makes me uncomfortable.”
“I know. Me, too. But I’m not going to let them ruin things for us. Especially not now,” Jasmin smiled sweetly.
“Oh? What’s so special about now?” Anni grinned.
Jasmin wrapped her arms around Anni’s neck. “You better be kidding.” She gave Anni a peck on the lips before returning to her task of cooking a meal for her girlfriend.
***
“This is really good, baby.” Anni accepted a bite from Jasmin, leaning in the thank her with a small kiss.
“Thank you.” She dabbed at Anni’s chin with a napkin, cleaning a bit of errant sauce. Jasmin lost herself in Anni’s big, brown eyes that looked at her with such love and devotion. The two women moved together, as if pulled by some cosmic force. Jasmin felt that force often, knowing that was why she ultimately couldn’t fight her feelings for Anni any longer. Even when she was married to Kurt, she had felt a strong connection to Anni that she didn’t understand at the time.
When their lips touched, she experienced that now familiar electricity flow between them. Jasmin leaned in to the caress Anni gave her cheek, complying readily when Anni pulled her even closer.
“Oh! Sorry guys!” Ayla blushed slightly, witnessing the intimacy from her two roommates. She closed the front door behind her, rushing across the room to leave the two in peace again.
“It’s okay, Ayla. Do you want some pasta?” Jasmin gave Anni one more kiss before returning to her own space.
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“Don’t be silly. Jasmin made enough for the entire apartment,” Anni smirked. “Come on. It’s gooood.” She taunted Ayla by waving her fork full of pasta around.
Ayla laughed at Anni’s antics, then got a plate from the cabinet and joined them. “Thanks, I’m starving!”
“Water?” Jasmin asked, already getting up to get Ayla a bottle. Ayla nodded enthusiastically, her mouth stuffed with pasta. Though Jasmin was thoroughly enjoying her alone time with Anni, she didn’t begrudge Ayla’s presence. On the contrary, she was happy to share time with someone who was such a great friend to both her and Anni.
“Are we avoiding the topic of Kurt?” Ayla asked, thanking Jasmin for the water.
Jasmin groaned, and Anni couldn’t help but to laugh. Kurt certainly found his way into their life, even if just by conversation.
“Not avoiding it,” Anni answered, shrugging as she received a side glance from Jasmin. “Did he talk to you?”
“Mmhmm.” Ayla swallowed her food before continuing. “He asked about your relationship.”
“What about it?” Jasmin wasn’t even remotely interested in Kurt, but she was interested in what others had to say about her relationship with Anni.
“How long it had been going on. If it was serious. Things like that. He seems to think you two had something going on when you were married to him,” she told Jasmin with a grimace.
“Please. He was the one cheating on me, not the other way around,” Jasmin scoffed.
“That’s what I told him. I didn’t want to talk to him at all,” Ayla added hurriedly. “But he wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“It’s okay,” Anni reassured her. “Sophie already warned Jasmin that Kurt was talking to our friends. We have nothing to hide. Right, baby?”
“Right. I don’t know what he thinks he’s accomplishing, but whatever. I have more important things to think about.” She smiled at Anni, picking up both of their plates to take them to the sink.
“Here, let me help.”
Jasmin placed her hand on Anni’s shoulder, stopping her. “Sit with Ayla so she doesn’t have to eat alone. I got this.”
Anni’s eyes followed Jasmin, concentrating on her beautiful backside. She snapped out of her trance when she heard a throat clearing. “Sorry,” she muttered, not really meaning it.
“No problem. Hey.” Ayla leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Are we still going shopping tomorrow? Sorry I couldn’t go the other day.”
“Yeah. And, it’s okay. Pia went with me, but I would like your opinion. You sure you don’t mind?” Anni kept glancing over at Jasmin, making sure she wasn’t paying attention. There was music playing lightly in the background, and the water was running, so Anni was confident that her and Ayla’s conversation remained unheard.
“Not at all! I think it’s romantic.”
Anni snorted softly at the dreamy look on Ayla’s face.
“What’s so funny?” Jasmin pulled her chair closer to Anni’s, draping her arm around Anni as she sat.
“Um . . . ” Anni floundered for an explanation that wouldn’t give her intentions away.
“I, um, told Anni that, um . . . I heard Mesut scream like a girl the other day,” Ayla answered lamely. “I don’t know what Nele was doing to him, but it was funny.”
Anni laughed outright at the ridiculous explanation. Jasmin looked between the two, coming to the conclusion that they were either keeping something from her, or just plain weird. It could go either way, she thought with a smile.
“Oookay. Well, I really don’t want to know what goes on in Nele’s bedroom.”
“We don’t always want to know what goes on in yours, either,” Ayla countered with a grin. “But that’s what roommates have to deal with.”
Although Anni and Jasmin knew Ayla was teasing them, they both blushed at the thought that the others heard their lovemaking.
“Yeah, well, you just can’t hold back when lesbian sex is so incredible,” Anni smirked, trying to regain control of the situation. She received a playful smack on the arm for her efforts. “What? Oh, sorry, not just lesbian sex, lesbian sex with Jasmin.” She howled with laughter at the stunned looks she got from the other women. “Aww, don’t be mad, baby. It’s true!”
Jasmin’s stunned look turned into a beautiful smile. “As long as you think so, sweetie, that’s all that matters.”
***
“So,” Anni began, standing behind Jasmin as she got ready for work in the bathroom the next morning. “I’m going to walk you over to Vereinsheim, then I’m going to help Ayla out with whatever she has to do.”
“She didn’t tell you what it was.” Jasmin put the final touches of her make-up on, then turned to her girlfriend. She knew something was up, and she hoped it had something to do with their anniversary. With that thought, she decided not to give Anni too hard of a time with questions.
“Nope. Just that she needed my help,” Anni answered evasively, hoping Jasmin would drop the subject.
“Okay!” Jasmin kissed Anni chastely, leaving a bit of lip gloss on Anni’s lips. She watched with amusement as Anni licked her lips eagerly with a ‘mmm’. “Ready?”
“To take you back to bed? Absolutely.”
“You’re incorrigible, you know that right? And, insatiable.”
“Not true! You always satisfy me, baby. You just do it so well, that it leaves me wanting more,” Anni said proudly, nipping at Jasmin’s nose, and running away from swatting hands. “Though, I do agree with your incorrigible assessment.”
“You’re a nut!” Jasmin laughed. “Come on. Walk me to work, woman!”
“As you wish.” Anni bowed, opening the door for her lover.