Previously on GZSZ…we were transported to the set of Dr Phil Jasmin/Anni, who gave out love advice to both Nele and Ayla, because as we all know, they are the new GZSZ power DREAM COUPLE!

Ep 5564

We open in Katrin’s apartment where she is being all bummed out for driving away losing Bommel, when Jasmin appears at the door with a present and some flowers. Happy Birthday Katrin, even though you TOTALLY forgot Jasmin’s birthday, here have a present and some flowers!

Jasmin can’t stay, but wishes her mother a happy birthday and tells her to say hi to Bommel for her. Now would be a good time to tell your daughter that you guys broke up because you’re a scheming bitch! But no she keeps her mouth shut. Reminds me a little of when Jasmin released the sex tape and wouldn’t own up to it at first because it would have made her look bad. You can’t expect people to feel sorry for you Katrin, when you brought the break up on yourself! 

Cut to Mesut’s shop where Anni is complaining about how expensive the toilet paper is and that she could get a whole pallet of it at the supermarket for that price. Haha, economical Anni, I love it. Mesut is just being an ass because he’s still pining away after Nele. He tells Anni that it’s even cheaper if you use old newspapers and tells them that in India they just use their hands. Ugh, gross Mesut. 

Jasmin sees right through all of Mesut’s bullshit and calls him out, telling him it that it was HE that broke up with Nele and not to take his heartache out on them. Macho Mesut laughs it off. 

Meanwhile Katrin receives a package in the mail that is addressed to Bommel. 

Back at Mesut’s shop, Jasmin is telling Anni that she doesn’t know why Katrin was so weird with her. The whole Scherf protest thing is over now and she doesn’t hold it against Katrin that she still thinks the relationship between her and Anni is just a phase. Anni tells her, that unlike her parents, at least Katrin lets her live out her “phase”. Jasmin is surprised and asks Anni if she should be grateful for that now? 

Vince comes running in asking them if they’ve seen his little brother, Oskar and the funniest part of this is when Anni is like “Who?”. LOL

Anni continues telling Jasmin that she doesn’t see why she should have to make up with her hardcore, zero tolerance father, when she can’t even have a glass of champagne with her mother. 

RUH ROH! Is trouble brewing in paradise already? Jasmin replies by telling Anni that she figured that Katrin would want to celebrate her birthday with people who are really up for it. Maren overhears this and is surprised to find out that it’s Katrin’s birthday. She then proceeds to tell Jasmin that Katrin and Bommel broke up. Jasmin is shocked, she thought everything was fine between them. 

Cut to Katrin who is feeling sorry for herself and crying, when Jasmin & Maren knock on her door. Maren comes armed with a bottle of champagne, and tells her she’s sorry she forgot her birthday but she sucks at remembering them. Must run in your group of friends, hey Katrin? The best part of this scene is the way that Janina improvises when the door won’t close and has to try and re-close it again. Great job there Janina

Jasmin apologises to Katrin about Bommel, telling her that she only just found out from Maren about it and asks her why she never said anything. Jasmin tells Katrin that she can always come to her if she needs to. Aww such a sweetheart. They then all toast to Katrin for her birthday and tell her they are hijacking her day by going to the MW for a concert.

Now as a side note here…something weird appears for a second in the Berlin montage between scenes. If you blink you might miss it, but it’s actually a shot of Anni from the May episode before she leaves Berlin for Spain; where she is standing on the bridge at sunset waiting to see if Jasmin will show up.

Super weird…not sure why it’s there. Maybe to see if we’re paying attention? Or maybe because they just ran out of Berlin footage? Or maybe simply because the editor didn’t recognise Linda in that shot HAH! Either way, it’s a bit WHERE’S WALLY? except WHERE’S ANNI?

So cut to the MW where Jasmin, Maren and Katrin arrive for the “Schafe & Wölfe” concert. They make a b-line for the bar and order up some more alcohol before toasting for Katrin’s birthday again.

Jasmin tries to drag Katrin out onto the dance floor but she ain’t havin’ any of that. Jasmin cutely dances around her but Katrin is all NO NO…so she tells her to just copy the way her and Maren dance. Cue adorkable dancing from Jasmin and Maren. Awww I want Maren to be Jasmin’s new friend, they are so cute together.

As Jasmin and Maren dance away, Katrin flashes back to happier times where she and Bommel danced. Ohhhhh I’m almost feeling sorry for her here…almost. They do finally manage to get Katrin to boogie, and it’s actually nice to see her have some fun.

This scene is also cool because one of our own is dancing away in the crowd. Yup, our dear Doreen, from the A&J International Facebook group, is actually dancing away in this scene and we are all super jealous. Love your work Doreen

“Schafe & Wölfe” finish playing and Jasmin cutely whispers something into Maren’s ears and they go to get up on stage. Katrin is all WTF? Jasmin sweetly tells the crowd that someone really important to her has a birthday, her mother. And then proceeds to lead the whole room in singing her Happy Birthday.

Awwwww! I can’t wait to see what sweet and adorably romantic things Jasmin will do for Anni’s birthday. BTW does anyone know when Anni’s birthday actually is? Because we’ve now gone a full year since Anni’s arrival and we haven’t seen her celebrate it or mention it. Hmm…

At first Katrin seems happy and goes along with it, but she flashes back to Bommel again and their fight and now she ain’t feelin’ it any more. She runs off to the toilets, while Jasmin looks on with the cutest little disappointed face I’ve ever seen. 

Cut to Katrin sitting in a toilet cubicle feeling sorry for herself. OK, OK, I do feel SLIGHTLY sorry for her now. Only slightly though. OK, I would give her a hug right now…but only because I’m a huge softie and hate seeing women crying. 

Jasmin comes and finds Katrin in the toilet and asks her if everything is OK and tells her that sometimes she needs to let people celebrate her because right now she deserves it. Ughhh if only you knew the truth Jasmin, if only you knew. Jasmin lists off all the challenges Katrin has faced in the past year and tells her that she’s finally back on top again because she’s so strong. Jasmin acknowledges that sometimes they fight, but that Katrin is doing great now and that she should be proud of herself. And Bommel leaving right when things are looking up again makes him a complete moron and he doesn’t deserve her. Katrin tells Jasmin that she doesn’t understand all the evil she did, that SHE’s the one who doesn’t deserve HIM and everything is her fault.

Cue dramatic facial expressions as the episode ends…

Ep 5565

We continue where we left off, in the MW toilets where Katrin has just told Jasmin that Bommel leaving was her fault. Katrin tells her she lied to him. That’s it Katrin, spit it out. She tells Jasmin that Bommel left because of Metropolitan Trends, that she didn’t tell him that she was back as editor in chief…LIAR! 

A surprised Jasmin can’t believe that he left her over that. IT’S BECAUSE IT’S A LIE JASMIN! Jasmin calls him an ass and wonder’s why Katrin is blaming herself for his leaving. Katrin interrupts Jasmin telling her to stop, because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and in fact, IT’S NONE OF HER BUSINESS! And poor Jasmin is left standing there as Katrin storms out. 

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Katrin. Easy there tiger. How can you tell your own beautiful, gorgeous, amazing daughter, who is only concerned with you, that it’s none of her business? Pfffftttt!

Cut to Katrin’s apartment where she’s listening to the classical music CD that arrived in the mail for Bommel. She slides down onto the couch remembering all the times she had a heart and was human for a half a second with Bommel, out in the woods in some tree house. This is what you get when you put superficial things before actual people and their feelings. She switches off the music and we are left with her sitting all alone on the couch, all by herself. In this single moment, I do feel sorrow for her. Will she genuinely ever find true happiness? Or is this what her future looks like?

Back in the land of dream couples, Anni and Jasmin FINALLY have a scene in a bedroom. THANK THE HEAVENS! I was beginning to think that they had demolished both their bedrooms. As Anni walks in she tells Jasmin that it’s a tie, both their parents suck. She tells Jasmin that at least she knows where she stands with her mother now and that next time, Katrin is on her own. Jasmin is all Greeeaaatt…and Anni is like well what do you want me to say? BTW can we take a moment to appreciate Anni on the bed?

Anni sarcastically says that maybe Katrin didn’t mean what she said and that Jasmin should show her some understanding since her tight ass lover just left her and she’s under a lot of stress because of her super important job? 

Jasmin thinks about it for half a second before launching onto Anni, for one of THE cutest little tickle fights of all time. Anni is all NEIN, NEIN and then Jasmin is all NEIN, NEIN…ZOMG…its too adorable to even describe…

Finally we are all happy again, the dream couple are finally back in a bedroom, ANY bedroom, they are now both ON the bed together, they are alone, the timing is perfect for….KATRIN TO FRIGGIN CALL!!!

Jasmin, of course, answers the phone. Katrin tries to grovel her way back into Jasmin’s good books by thanking her for taking her out and for singing her happy birthday and that it means so much to her blah blah blah. Jasmin, with hurt in her voice, tells Katrin that she thought it was none of her business. Ohhh snap…Katrin tells her that she should know her, and that sometimes she’s just like that. That she was just mad at herself. Umm was that your version of an apology Katrin? Cos well…

Sweet hearted Jasmin instantly forgives her and asks her if she wants to come over for a nightcap. Anni kicks Jasmin and gestures her NO NO NO! Exactly what we are thinking Anni! She’s already ruined your tickle-fest, no need for her to ruin the whole evening too. Anni throws the pillow on her face and it’s a one way ticket to ADORABLEVILLE thanks!

Luckily, Katrin declines, telling Jasmin she has fast food to consume on the couch some things to do and wishes Jasmin a good night. Oh she will have a good night now, all alone with Anni. But instead of seeing it, we get a Katrin montage, where she clears her whole apartment of anything related to Bommel. YAY us!

Cut to the next morning and out in the courtyard of Katrin’s building some painter is painting over some graffiti that says I LOVE YOU. Katrin tells him, that that is what she calls prompt, which means she called him to come out. Greeeeaaaattt we have the scrooge back again. Some schmoe from her office has carried out a bunch of boxes packed full of Bommels books and dropped them off at the book store next door for her. The shop keeper tells her that he’ll give her 20 Euros for it. Just then Jasmin and Nele come out also and Jasmin tells Nele to go on ahead while she talks to Katrin.

Jasmin asks if those are Bommel’s books, Katrin tells her yes. Jasmin thinks its a good idea to get rid of them. Katrin tries again to apologise, telling Jasmin that what she said yesterday, she didn’t mean it like that. Like what Katrin? Not sure there’s any other way to take “It’s none of your business”, but anyway. Kind and gentle Jasmin tells her its OK and asks if she’s OK. Katrin is fine, just fine. She will always be fine.

Back at the Scooby gang apartment, Jasmin, Ayla and Nele are discussing Mesut, who apparently called Nele a “slut”. Jasmin goes off, saying “Once a macho, always a macho”. Ayla tells them she’s going out to buy breakfast and if she sees Mesut, she’s going to give him an earful for sure!

Nele gets a text message and while she checks it, Jasmin cutely raises her eyebrow. Don’t ever stop doing that Janina It’s a text from Tuner that asks her if she’s slept well and that he’d like to see her. She gets a goofy smile on her face and shows Jasmin the message. Jasmin gets the cutest little gushy face here and says “Aw, how cute is that?” … how cute are YOU Jasmin??

Jasmin tells Nele that judging by the smile on her face, the case of who to pick should be closed. She tells Nele that it was a nice message…and about Tuner “Once nice, always nice”. The question is, do you pick the safe nice person, or do you take a risk and go for the person with whom you have more passion?

** This recap proudly brought to you by a brand new book I’m working on called “Where’s Anni?” **